Here I would say something like, Youre so talented!/Thats brilliant! Mull over various relaxing options, like meeting up for coffee or tea, and then send along one concrete plan, Manly says. But what exactly does this phrase mean and how should you respond to it? Image used under license from Shutterstock, Larissa Dann. 1. Set realistic goals. The Psychology of Bragging. Thats what I think. Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. It makes sense for a mentor or parent to say this, or a friend or other who served in some coaching role. Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. Maybe instead of telling me hes proud of me, like its such a surprise, maybe he should have just offered to do the dishes. the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. Lets look at some examples (followed by some suggested alternatives) adult first, then child, to help illustrate this point: Manager: "Im proud of the report youve written". You could also feel patronised. Keep believing in me, I will make you proud more and more. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". With teens and adults, saying "I'm proud of you" is a bit different. In this research, children of parents who never said "I'm proud of you" were significantly more likely to contemplate, plan or attempt suicide. Well, that truly makes my day. I dont think my children have any problem with this because they know, in many other ways, I love them dearly. "I know how you feel". You're not necessarily the expert. She only ever said it once but it has stuck with me forever: God knew just what we needed when He gave us you. February 18, 2023 There are people who interpret life as if it were all about a fight of egos. 2. Compare: "Oh bear!" You must be so proud of how you're doing!"). Its very presumptuous. Most times, people use "I am busy" as a tool for avoidance. But, why does the response "me too" sound natural in response to "I am glad to meet you". Of course, the child may feel really pleased to hear this positive evaluation of their efforts. Pause, take a deep breath, and remember who you really are. So - when a parent says, "Im so proud of you", is the parent taking the credit for the childs accomplishments? I'm so much proud of you for completing your graduation and wish you will succeed in every . 6. Bless me that I keep doing bigger things than this. 8. 10. Future Planet. Glad that I keep our family tradition alive. Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can help to encourage and motivate people. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. Praise such as this is a subject on its own much research and many, many books have been written on the negative aspects of praise. You had nothing whatsoever to do with any of this you pond-bottom suckers.. Talents Compliments. Congratulations to our dearest son. By being proud of me that person shares their mind and soul with my mind and soul and includes me in a certain extended period of that persons life. Anyone could tell how proud he is to be with you by the giant grin that's plastered on his face when you two are together. You are asked at the cocktail party what you do. that he harrassed them or . He remembers things that you tell him. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. I just graduated with my degree in hospitality." "Oh, a future barista," says the other guest, swirling his drink. "Im proud of you!" Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. Think of things people have often praised. (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) So, if youve achieved something in your educational or professional field, and someone informs you theyre proud of you, it means you did a great job there. But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. Oh, youre one of my trusted supporters! 03:48. But worse, my friend thanked them. Imperfect, striving, playful, loving, learning. As in, he's purely attracted to your appearance. That way, all they have to do is show up. This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". Everything you do is with excellence. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. Focus on what is positive in their life and avoid getting overly . Happy I did it, finally! Thank you, mom and dad, youre the reason for this. I do find it odd to say "I'm proud of you for doing the dishes". Here are some examples of ways you can respond to Im proud of you: These responses will show your appreciation for their words and will help to strengthen your relationship. 9. Thanks! Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? It will show your appreciation for their words, it will help to strengthen your relationship, and it will create a positive and constructive environment. But who are you to affirm? Just let them be. Patricia Velasquez. Sept. 29, 2020, 8:12 PM PDT / Updated Sept. 30, 2020, 5:34 AM PDT. After all, you were the one who put the effort into writing the report you did the research, you put the paper together. Instead of acting out of rage over . Can "me too" be used here? http://pbskids.org/rogers/songLyricsImProudOfYou.html. Im so glad to hear that. Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. Thanks. Its powerful. But, what would be the better ways to respond to I am proud of you other than just saying thank you. A person receiving this praise could also feel belittled it could feel as though their achievement was unexpected - a surprise to the other person. It can also help to show appreciation to others and can help to create stronger relationships. you see the work of your close friend and you tell him "I am proud of you". If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". It does not take it away from them. 2. Why is this such a contentious phrase? For many of us, hearing this phrase is like a warm hug. What does it mean when a woman says she's proud of you? One man said, "I am so proud of my partner when we are at receptions together; many men are around her wishing to make love to her . Rather, relationship skills where we communicate respectfully by listening, by positive I-Messages, by problem solving with our child, will help ensure our children feel connected and valued, and provide our children with a sense of emotional safety. Well cover some of the better responses you can give, like thanking them, making them feel special, or making them laugh. Its also important to remember the power of positive reinforcement and the benefits of responding with gratitude. But this seems less common. Second, he must know you well. The truth here is, different people say and hear different things in the expression Im proud of you.. Refresher workshop for P.E.T. 1. 7. I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. Well, thats what we are going to share in this post. I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. Thanks. Rather than the child feeling respected for their efforts, they may feel patronised, put-down. If a friend said it to me, I might say "Thank you", but I'd be thinking "Well, who gave you authority over me, then?". 10. posted by aimedwander at 4:27 PM on May 17, 2015 . Which brings me to my next point. The phrase, in my belief, implies my contribution as a parent. For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? Someone has just gone out of their way to say something nice to you. 4. What, do you really? As a friend I want you to know that I am so proud of you. She and I are both married. In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. Well, in that case, you should be proud of yourself, too. As if Im mentally retarded and reading a book for the first time in my life, and hoping to get a cookie and a star sticker. To reply to that right, here are the better and funny responses to I am proud of you from your bestie. (I'd prefer "Wow, that must have taken some thought and courage! They can be in dictionaries but over time can have slightly different meanings depending how they are used. I wish everyone had a genuine friend like you. You are happy they are an ambassador for you. Briefly, some difficulties include: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. Overall, seeing your parents, family and loved ones are proud of you, is a great compliment. This can help to create stronger relationships and can help to create a positive and constructive environment. An acquaintance commented on a recent Facebook post I made that he was proud of me and immediately I felt so mad about that but couldnt figure out why. Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. I still think she was doing this at the time. I was an ambitious student with a goal to attend university, which my father completely supported. I think the internet and social media have eaten her brain that she would not only allow their @#[emailprotected] clueless comment to remain public, but that she thanked them? Larissa Dann, a veteran trainer of Parent Effectiveness Training in Australia, suggests that we stop saying "I am proud of you," and start saying, "I am proud for you." 1 It is a subtle shift from the accomplishment being about the parent to the accomplishment being about the child. And, that nearest person could be your parents, partner, or friends. So you better know in which tone theyre saying so. If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. I'm so proud of you" I say things like "I love seeing you so happy with your work" and "I love seeing your words in print". A Macquarie Dictionary definition of proud is: feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something conceived as highly honourable or creditable to oneself. My sons grew up together and are spaced two years apart. Youre like my sister from another mother. Were brothers, dont you forget that! Thank you for starting this. No, I am more proud of you, too. I again said. If you teach someone maths and they pass their exam same thing they are good because they have taken notice of your teaching. . But I believe that spouses say it, and siblings. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre reinforcing the positive behavior that you want to see in yourself and others. (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). He gets a "that's nice". I know Im a couple of years behind, but was thinking about it this morning. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[970,90],'howdoirespondto_com-box-4','ezslot_3',180,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howdoirespondto_com-box-4-0'); Its important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . This expression is much more self-focused, i.e. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. Let them know that you are grateful for their support. The administrator suggests obtaining professional advice on any concerns (including medical or psychological) the reader may hold regarding their children, themselves, or others. Likewise, these are special, cute, and funny replies when someone says I am proud of you and you dont know what to respond next. No. I didnt expect that this would mean so much for us. If its a long-term relationship, the mentor will genuinely care. They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. 2. Often the 'I'm proud of you' I get from strangers includes an unwanted and inappropriate familiarity, a hug a bit too long or a bit too hard, a knowing look and more emphasis on the 'I' than the 'you' in the 'I . 2. That proud phrase didnt bother me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to wonder, what does she mean when she says shes proud of me? Probably no big deal but would be interested in input from others especially other females. Knowing someone is proud of you, is indeed one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. Your email address will not be published. I almost never tell anyone Im proud of them, for exactly this reason. And family can often be proud, but as with most things family, the obligation and bias dull the effect. . I wouldnt get anxious about it. My ex just said the same thing to me yesterday and it just didnt sound right to me. And, you are the best thing ever to happen to me. She said yes and then she said she wanted to go with me. But I want to let you know that I accept you whether I agree with you or not, and I'm committed to working on our relationship so we both feel . Is it a parent speaking to a child, for instance, or a friend to a friend? To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. I, too, rightly believe that I had little to do with my offspring making his way in life in a manner that is worthy, but as parent, conveying I am proud of you, has distinctive and important meaning. . If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. Thank You. Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. I think children want simply to be accepted and respected as themselves. For doing what Im supposed to do? Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a "narcissist." When you live with narcissistic. And as it was your friends achievement, oughtnt she be the one who feels proud? "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. 14. Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! These two simple words"I care"can mean so much to a person who may be feeling like the entire world is against them. Grandparents And Grandchildren: Observations From A Parent In-Between. Well done!. You certainly will. May God's blessings be bestowed upon you forever and always. It will also help to give you a boost of confidence. Now, of course, its diminished if the person throws the phrase around too casually to colleagues, all family members, etc., but if they are a genuine and caring person, then I believe it shows a deeper connection. I thought to myself, who is she to be proud of me? Im proud of you could be seen as an external judgement a parents verdict on a childs performance. But, the real credit goes to you and you only! Thats why we feel pride in our childrens accomplishments. I was very annoyed with her (mainly due to her attitude) and balled her out at the til. 1. From what I read, she falls into the category of know them well but I wonder if its not something a bit out of place. #8: They say you need to change. They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. But, it can also be a bit overwhelming because it puts the spotlight on us and can make us feel exposed. Ben Casnocha It is a darn good thing that you wrote your opinion; that I found it tonight, and that comments continue to be accepted. Hosted by Pressable. So we arranged to have her drive to the hotel where I was staying and we drove there together. "You make me so mad.". When you respond to someones words of admiration with gratitude, youre showing that you value and respect them. I teach high school. Who is saying this to whom? What if you really are proud of the person? The other three sound as if you're saying you're proud of yourself too. I am here for the same reason. 5. It's important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. Suddenly I found myself questioning my rather lame Im thrilled for you. There are alternatives to praise and saying "Im proud of you", and they include: I consciously have to stop myself from saying "Im proud of you". They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. So happy for us! I dont think that without your support I can make it. Living with a parents disapproval, or continually seeking a parents approval, is a life-long burden. Prior to going back, I asked if shed be going to the homecoming tailgate and football game. One of the wives of these manual labourers had befriended me in church and was an older woman. If you feel stuck on getting that pride going or can't seem to identify the traits or qualities you're most proud of in yourself, go back in time. Its more potent because they have seen struggles in their life, and within that perspective, they still acknowledge the effort I have put into the achievement as deserving of recognition. 0. 2. Thank you., Im honored that youre proud of me. We are probably trying to encourage our children, and even instil in them a sense of pride in their own achievements. How Do I Tell Him I Like Him The Best Method (Proven), What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy, Im so glad that youre proud of me. Use words that will strengthen your relationship. 1. You shouldnt be. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful PJ, I will give my thoughts on your post at the end of my post. Thank you. Do you think if they didn't mean it they would say it? She says "Good boy. The important piece is if they are genuine in their caring (and have been consistent, contrary to the parent that was never there but then feels pride). It's nothing bad or unusual. And that's how I arrived at the "I'm Proud of You" litmus test. Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. When someone tells you that they are proud of you, not only are they impressed by something you did and who you are, but they also want others to know it. If you get a new job, get a participants medal for a 10K or do anything deemed worthwhile, friends, family and acquaintances will say they are so proud of you!!!. Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. Do you mean you are also proud of yourself or that you are proud of the other person? Consequently I now cringe every time I hear the term being used out of context . I cannot understand that and think he is misusing the word. Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? To be sure, "I'm really proud of you buddy" can sometimes occur between friends. I can point them out to my friends and say, Those are my sons!. Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" I grew up being complimented for my looks . "How long have you been sober?". 26. She continually updates her course with new examples and relevant material from the latest research. Otherwise I feel like Im horning in on someone elses territory their right to be proud of their own accomplishments. I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. I believe many people do not understand and appreciate the expression Im proud FOR you. 27. Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. Just think of The Sixth Sense, where the son tells his mother that his dead grandmother wanted her daughter to know that the answer to her unspoken question was Every day., His mother begins to cry, and he asks her, What did you ask grandma, and she replies through her tears, Are you proud of me?. 11. I have always seen it as, Ive been there, done that, and think you have done it too.. The first time I remember hearing it said to me (though I'm sure there were times before the instance I'm describing .
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