I did ask in the beginning if the relationship is new because thats a very important caveat. As I see it, what you're really asking is (just like before), "Is he actually more into me than he seems to be, and therefore should I stick around even though it isn't making me happy?" I'm not emotionally ready to break up just yet. I am so confused, he texts me every day, but rarely calls. We live a little over a hour away from each other. Aug 5, 2011. Thank you, your first paragraph is what I kind of knew but like I said I'm not emotionally ready so I have been trying to see if he would compromise but like you said he clearly doesn't want to. He could have two other girlfriends with all the time he has (Regardless of how busy work or social events are). He only invites me to his place one night a week, usually on a Friday night, or when he has a weekend off I will stay for 2 nights. You can see how this popup was set up in our step-by-step guide: https://wppopupmaker.com/guides/auto-opening-announcement-popups/. Because they don't have very much time on workdays to dedicate to their partner, they decide to spend time with them during the weekend. This is exactly how I'm feeling right now about my bf. Getting used to feeling single is the worst part because it normalises you to not having them around which makes breaking up less scary. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Smarter relationships. I do get upset with him because of this and he says I carry you in my heart wherever I go. He always plans something for the weekend, but even though I'm wiling to make the drive to see him, he's totally content. Current boyfriend Ive been dating for a couple months and its black and white, finally seeing that there is a difference between being the chill girl who lets her boyfriend do things without him and the chill girl that he can use when its convenient. You want to get to know them more and you want to start building the foundation of a possible relationship going forward. The relationship should be equal and the both of you should be able to decide what you do and how you spend your time together, and if he doesnt meet you halfway, he might not be the one! If he steps it up and seems to put more effort in,then you could say Do you picture us spending more time together going forward and meeting each others fsmilies? See what he says-if he starts to tell he has no time,is not ready for that-let him go,as he cant be the guy you want. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. But I think what we did was find something that fit for us. It has always been like this but when I agreed to be in a relationship with someone who worked away I thought there would be more effort on the communication when apart and most of the weekend spent together (at least the nights so we had time for our hobbies through the days). In the holidays we see eachother 2/3 times a week, so you also look forward to that. Yep, thats pretty much your whole letter, Patricia. Hes very introverted and loves his alone time but once every two weeks isnt going to work for me. He wants us to be exclusive. We continued our hobbies and friendships outside of the relationship so neither of us were sitting at home alone and waiting around for the other. Start dating younger men who have time. Many men simply view love . Take the exclusive off the table and start dating againthats taking your POWER back, not subrogated (enslaved) to a man who cant fit you into his life! This will put the responsibility on him to draw closer to you when he realizes your sudden scarcity. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. It allows both of you to get to know each other better, without the pressure of seeing each other so often and almost feeling forced to like each other. Try backing off a bit, stop asking to hang out and give him space. It sounds backwards but I do think relationships often have that subtle dance of push and pull / scarcity and demand rumbling under the surface at times (which makes them sound like a game - and they shouldnt be - but putting rules in place is as equally game-y so this is just a different method). We'd talk on the phone and email during the week, but never see each other. Is it possible for THIS PARTICULAR relationship to progress, considering how youve described it? Nothing makes me want to kiss my baby senseless more than when a letter from him finally comes in the mail, and he's written all this mushy gushy, sweet stuff about me in it. My boyfriend tours for a living, which keeps him on the road for 8-10 months annually. Should I just play it cool and reassess a few months for now? But on the other hand, you're 21 and you trust him completely. This might leave you feeling as though you are a bit lost on where the relationship is going, but it can actually be a good thing. If you're not available at times when he wants to see you, you'll find that he begins to make more time for you. Modern romance is full of challenges. When we started dating, he made it clear his two teenage daughters, of whom he has custody, were top priority and that his job as an air . If the two of you have just started dating, or even before you become committed, how much do you actually know about each other? I saw my basic relationship needs were not being met and it was only getting worse after I expressed how I felt to him. We do text and very very occasionally call but it feels strained and awkward. If you don't mind me asking do you automatically spend the whole weekend (at least the nights) together and how often do you talk? I've stopped going round there now & ive started doing my own things. I'm one of those. At the end of the day, he might be exhausted and the last thing he feels like doing is driving to come to see you, or going out to dinner. Sometimes it's for 2 days sometimes it's 2 weeks. By taking it slow and only getting together once a week, you can gradually get to know each other without pressure, and this will help give you a clear indication of whether or not you would be suited to date, or whether you actually like the other person you are dating! I would stop contacting him first and stop all date planning. I've been married for about 3 years. We hold on to the fact that we know we get to see each other soon and that keeps us going. Need help with your relationship? You want to get to know them more and you want to start building the foundation of a possible relationship going forward. Those coins make me think of how much I love him, and how much he loves me. Because you see each other so infrequently ,there has been no chance to really bond,know each other. Shes too proud to admit that she got played for that long stretch of time. Because he is away all week he has a lot to fit into his weekends and he usually spends at least one day with his friends. This is a completely normal and valid reason why he isnt able to see you more often, he cant start cutting down on work responsibilities to spend more time with you, especially if the relationship is still new, and it isnt fair to expect him to do this! TheFab20s is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking toAmazon.com, Copyright 2023 TheFab20s on the Seasoned Pro Theme, 35 Minimalist Bullet Journal Spreads You Have To Try Right Now, 8 Books About Self-Love To Transform Your Mental Health, Possible Reasons Why He Only Wants To See You Once A Week. Discover why quality men choose some women and not I have met his mother and sibling. He is taking you for granted. He knows you want to see him more. Again he said he can't promise me anything. The reason for this is that he is waiting for something more 'interesting' to fill his time. But its the truth. If he tails off even more ,then,that will be your answer and you can just drift apart. I think the longest we've gone without being together is about 2.5 months. I know he cared about me, but I just never felt we could get on the same page. Please note: I only suggest you talk to him if (and only if!) LOL. More often than not, she'd come to my place. If we hang out, it's typically one day a week I'll spend the night. (2) If you use a non-cordless phone, like I almost did, it's like . He seems like a decent and open guy, so why don't you just talk to him openly about your concerns? Yikes, it doesn't sound likely.. there are a bunch of red flags to address first. This could be on a Friday night and staying over Saturday, but then he needs Sunday on his own to recharge. Men who are sincerely interested in a relationship with you - will compliment you for qualities such as your intelligence, sense of humor and values. Im 48 and recently divorced. Maybe you have been leaving the planning up to him, and he only comes up with one plan a week because he doesnt want to seem too overbearing. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other regularly for 4 months. Am I wrong to want to spend every weekend with my boyfriend? When you're apart - keep dating! By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. I agree with you. Hi-if he is so busy that he can only meet up every two weeks-you are not his priority. It should come from him or be a mutual plan at this point. However, we spend 80% of the time he's home at the parents' house. If your relationship has been going on for a few months and he still only wants to see you once a week, it can be both frustrating and confusing! Especially if he starts to call you names and accuses you of cheating. I think it depends on what he is busy with. Another reason on why does my boyfriend only want to see me once a week is because currently you are in a long distance relationship with him. Find ways for your boyfriend or girlfriend to spend one-on-one time together. I feel Im falling in love with this man. I have a career where 14 hour days are common and no matter how much you want to see someone, there is not a ton of time. Hes made it clear he only wants to date me so I dont think hes cheating. Is it possible for a relationship to progress if the partners only see each other on the weekend? Open-Ended Questions To Ask A Girl (205 Open Ended Questions To Ask A Girl), How To Make A Girl Blush Over Text (101 Things To Say), How To Compliment A Girl Over Text (141 Ways), Qualities Of A Good Woman (29 Vital Qualities), How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested (25 Helpful Tips), Signs A Married Woman Wants You To Make A Move (23 Signs To Look For), How To Turn On A Woman With Words (155 Tips), 27 Obvious Signs A Woman Wants To Sleep With You, Reasons Why Pisces Man Loves Scorpio Woman (9 Interesting Reasons), If He Doesnt Introduce You To His Friends, What Does It Mean? However, you also have a choice. I have never made him feel like he can't hang with the guys. But if you two have been dating for more than two months and he sees you once a week (if that), its time to pack your picnic basket and find a new park. If you arent a priority in his life, you can just stop reading this article right here and now, grab your phone, and delete his number. But, if you are that extrovert type of girlfriend, by the time goes by, you will feel uncomfortable. I do think he is genuinely busy but hes made no move to integrate me into his life (I havent met his friends or family). Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. They claim to want intimacy and, when shit starts to get real, they pull away from it. If you ask to hangout with him more than he's available, you're basically implying that he needs to fit you into his schedule. There are more ways that can be done in this modern era to give your loved ones more attention. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think. Having grown up in long distance relationships (moving away from my hometown, meeting someone at college who lived elsewhere and having a partner who works away throughout the week) I really struggled with it at first. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. 18 He Wants You: He'll Make Random Excuses To Talk To You. What do you two do when you go on dates? What I can say is that's indirect to obsess about such a small and inconsequential piece of the bigger issue that you seem to have a good grip on at this point: are you two a match in terms of what you each hope to get out of this relationship? Follow Thought Catalog on Pinterest. 4. I hope this helps. Titles are worthless if you dont receive the actions that go with the title. At first that was okay, but at some point I'm going to want more. I only see my boyfriend once every two weeks or so. I honestly don't mind his friends and that would be selfish of me to make him always hang with me but I just don't think hanging at least 2 days a week is a hard thing to do considering he doesn't work full time when out of school. Is it OK that he doesnt hint about a future? I think shes just being guarded and had that talk with him about getting seriousshe initiated it and he responded by letting her know that for 8 months he thought it was all a fun run. We provide resources that help you in your relationship, marriage, and dating life. By his own admission, hes a pleaser who says yes to everything until he explodes or disappears. If he retreats, your questions will be answered. We got together every weekend and a few times a year for 2-3 week trips. I think part of it is because shes from Vietnam and did not recognize the play. Aside from your personal thoughts such as on how to make him miss you in long distance relationship, you need to be grateful. He took all his life problems and blamed me that I would never understand his life. Remember to go where youre celebrated, not just tolerated. Good luck to you, OP. What happens though when a man only wants to see you once a week? I think he would be very sad to lose you. If you start filling your time up with things that make you feel great - exercising, making art, sport, friends, baking - WHATEVER - not only may he snap out of it by realising youre no longer putting him on this pedestal begging for his time, it may also make YOU feel good to stop orbiting around this guy thats not making you feel wanted. You are not always going to be able to date someone who lives just down the road, and distance might be a big factor in your relationship. People say how horrible it must be that he works away so often and how lonely I must get. He owns his own business and claims he is working on his work truck on the weekends. Especially if the goal is to be together forever. Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you. I'm 48 and recently divorced. Often, this honeymoon phase is one of the most exciting parts of a relationship, and everything is exciting, perfect, and rosy! 3. I would be careful. I just dont see how seeing your SO once a week is a serious relationship (I consider this one cause he has talked about future situations like marriage, house etc.) You've made it way too easy for him, and he doesn't value you as much as his . Sit down and talk to him about how you feel. A true partner will want to work on a compromise so both persons desires are being met. I constantly crave my husband. He has not yet met my son. I think it's about regular contact, making each other know you're thinking about one another and making plans in the future. And it's true, at points I want to have a 'normal' relationship, but it actually enables me to have freedom and be able to do my own thing! That sounds tough but glad you guys make it work so well. A man knows what position he wants a woman to play in his life before he even meets her. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. 1. I asked him what does he have planned this week and he said nothing so far except our date and possibly a dinner with a family member. I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. We occassionally call each other but doesn't happen a lot. My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. Seeing a guy twice a month is not a relationship. Bottom line, if a guy or girl is only seeing your on the weekends every 2 weeksYOU ARE A SIDE PIECE. My boyfriend tours for a living, which keeps him on the road for 8-10 months annually.